Top 10 things to do if you’ve been bait and switched into a date
I had this experience the other day. I went on a date. I did not KNOW I was going on a date until I got there. Weird, right? Actually no don’t answer that, I’ll tell you—it was fucking weird.
But sometimes, crafty people can, what I like to call, ‘bait and switch’ you into going on a date with them. They disguise it as something else, and then begin talking about the shape of your eyes (umm awkward).
So having gone through the experience just a short time ago, I have reflected and put together a survival guide for those of you who may someday fall victim to the same thing.
- When this person attempts to hug/embrace/smother/envelop you upon arrival/exit, stick out your hand straight as though you’re going for a handshake. This will impale his/her abdomen and hopefully get your point across.
- When the person tells you that you have beautiful eyes, say you were born with a penis (alter this appropriately if you’re a male).
- When the person asks you what your type is, say you prefer animals to humans when furnished with a choice.
- When the person asks “what do you do in your spare time?” just say that you like to snort coke, eat Doritos, and pick your toes
- If the person is so unbearable that you are literally about to die, pull out your phone and say that your little brother’s tongue got stuck to a pole and you have to go…”but wait it’s not even cold out…?” But by then you’re out the door so it’s okay.
- When the person asks “what’s your type,” just explain that you prefer it to be more of a business arrangement, and you like to accept money and presents for the pleasure of your company…sex excluded.
- Go to the bar and down a bunch of alcoholic beverages to numb yourself to the situation at hand.
- Explain that you don’t appreciate deceptive advertising and you would like to know why you have been baited and switched into this incredibly awkward situation.
- Talk about Justin Bieber.
- Just act fuckin weird, maybe have a little fun with it so it’s at least entertaining and gives you something to write about in your blog…
Haha. Which of the above did you do?
10 hahaha
Ha ha gud one!
No. 2 should work every single time. I still get nightmares after watching The Crying Game…
And my name is Jack Thomas.
How do I prove it lass?
Haha okay I guess I have no choice but to take your word for it. Do you live in the US?
Nope not in the beautiful and glorious USA. And that’s all I’m telling you! Some mystery is good
Keep writing and do visit again
Lol, “Talk about Justin Bieber” that one got to me.
Hahaha!! Just talk about Justin Bieber! LOVE that!
Also, I very strongly agree with #8. I take a more direct approach…stupid bait and switch dates…
I had a “date” like that once. I complained I had a migraine and left early. My “migraine” did not go away for the next month.
I do like the Justin Bieber idea, but what if it backfires and the date actually likes Bieber? That could go from bad to very very bad pretty quickly, so be careful!
I think I’d just get up and go at that pt haha.